In loving memory of Brett T. Bailey
Build Me A Son O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; Who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat and humble and gentle in victory. Build me a son whose wishes will not take the place of deeds; A son who will know thee, and that to know thee is the foundation stone of knowledge. Lead him, I pray, not in the paths of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm; here let him learn compassion for those who fail. Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goals will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men, who will reach into the future yet never forget the past. And after all these things are his, add I pray, enough of a sense of humor so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom and the meekness of true strength. Then I, his father will dare to whisper, "I Have Not Lived In Vain"
- General Douglas McArthur
Asbury Park Press story, September 19, 2001
Brett T. Bailey, age 28, of Brick, N.J. Beloved son of Kevin and Judy Bailey. Adored brother of Yarah and Yuriah Bailey. Devoted fiancé of Dina Carlucci. Loved grandson of paternal grandparents George and Maureen Bailey and maternal grandparents Leonard and Elizabeth Dziadkowicz. Respected nephew, trusted cousin, loving godparent and dear friend. All miss him greatly and will forever remember his strong will and love for life.
Missing and presumed dead after the World Trade Center attack on September 11, 2001. For three years, Brett was an Option Broker at Euro Brokers and was actively trying to help others escape from the second tower when it collapsed. Prior, he worked for CMJ on the New York Stock Exchange. Brett lived everyday to the fullest sharing his eternal generosity and passion. He is an inspiration to many and his memory is everlasting. His existence was profound and will be emulated by many.
A Service of remembrance and hope will be held to celebrate Brett's life at 10:30 am Friday October 12, 2001 at Saint Leo's, 50 Hurley's Lane Lincroft, N.J. 07738. Those wishing to remember and honor Brett may make a contribution in his memory to the Brett T. Bailey Foundation, whose purpose is to provide financial support to charitable organizations that aid civilian victims of tragic events. In lieu of gifts, please send donations to 1443 Forest Ave. Brick NJ, 08724. Make checks payable to the Brett T. Bailey Foundation.
-----Original Message-----
From: kevin bailey [mailto:kevin@litenet.net]
Sent: Tuesday, October 02, 2001 9:15 AM
To: YURIAH BAILEY; Yarah Bailey; dina carlucci
Subject: Message from the Wilder's
Our friends the Wilder's are now living in London. We received a card from them yesterday. Below is what Stevie wrote:
Dear Bailey Family,
We are so sorry to learn that Brett was not found. It is far beyond our capacity in words to express our feelings and sympathy. We can only say that in our minds and in the history of our nation it will be forever written that your son was a symbol of what we hold to be sacred-an undying belief in the freedom, dignity and determination in what we believe sets us apart and above, the injustice and iniquities which evil people choose to perpetuate. We promise you that Brett will always live in our hearts and minds as a symbol of what we, as Americans, cherish. Without doubt, Brett lives now in a better place then we can imagine.
The Wilder's
(A farily typical e-mail from Brett... let's not forget it was rare that anyone knew what he was taking about. Hint: fun tickets = money)
-----Original Message-----
From: Brett Bailey [mailto:bbailey@ebi.com]
Sent: Tuesday, October 17, 2000 12:04 PM
To: Anthony Carlucci (E-mail); Art DellaSalla (E-mail); Bernie Davis (E-mail); jboyle@milbank.com
Subject: Big D's B-day
Stop the Planet of the Apes I want to get off! Pack your pockets full of fun tickets, come on out and rage in NYC.
Dinner this sat will be @ Acappella (1 hudson st. bet. chambers & w.b'way).
8:30pm. After dinner we will head to the Tribeca Grand (6th ave & white st.??) You're all welcome.
If you cannot make dinner let me know you will be replaced!
(and of course, he was everyone's ring-leader for good times)
-----Original Message-----
From: Brett Bailey [mailto:bbailey@ebi.com]
Sent: Monday, November 20, 2000 10:43 AM
To: Bernie Davis (E-mail); Bob Montecalvo (E-mail); CKramer. ims@vnumis. com (E-mail); Jesse_Garrabrant@NBA. COM (E-mail); MCON163@aol. com (E-mail); Todd Narwid (E-mail); Tim Matthews (E-mail); Donald Demers Jr (E-mail); JBoyle@milbank. com (E-mail); CHRISTOPHER COMEY (E-mail); Blake Bailey (E-mail); ybailey@adelphia.com
Cc: Dina Carlucci (E-mail)
Subject: This years trip west..
I am putting together a trip out west to ski/snowboard. The dates will be Feb 5th thru the 12th or the 12th thru the 19th. I have done these weeks the last 2yrs and conditions have went off. The place BIG SKY MONTANA: Featured in many of Warren Miller's finest films this place rips. Deep champagne powder bring your snorkel.
Your going to spend $1,000 to 1,500 depending on how many and the accommodations we get.That price will include accommodations, plane tix, lift tix, shuttles to and from the airport. Once we narrow the group we can fine tune those #'s and get a great trip for a good price.
Let me know what you think..
later
-B
-----Original Message-----
From: Nonnyg@aol.com [mailto:Nonnyg@aol.com]
Sent: Monday, October 08, 2001 12:33 AM
To: bdavis@screamingmedia.com
Subject: re: Brett
I am a friend of Kevin and Judy's and have known there family since Brett was a little boy known then as Yuri. I just wanted to tell you thank you for putting this page together. It means so much to us that are far away. I have sent this to a lot of people that knew him when he was younger and have received many thanks and I wanted to let you know just how much it has been shared and appreciated. My husband and I will miss him greatly. Our son Gabe was a close friend as children and we were all planning to attend his wedding. My heart and prayers go out to you and those that were close friends of his, your loss is great and words really can't describe the sorrow one has. Thank you again and please keep the photo page going.
Deena and Ralph Graham
Nashville, TN
Yarah's eulogy. St. Leo the Great Church, Lincroft, NJ. Friday, Oct. 12, 2001
In Remembrance of Brett I would like to share a poem by an unknown author entitled REMEMBER ME.
To the living, I am gone;
To the sorrowful, I will never return;
To the angry, I was cheated
But to the happy, I am at peace.
And to the faithful, I have never left.
I cannot speak, but I can listen.
I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.
So, as you stand upon a shore, gazing at a beautiful sea-
As you look upon a flower, and admire its simplicity-
Remember me.
Remember me in your heart, your thoughts,
And your memories of the times we loved,
the times we shared, the times we laughed.
For if you always think of me,
I will never have gone.
I stand before you all today with hope, love, and true admiration for the brother I was blessed with. I can only give you quick snap shots of Brett and what he was to me - My words will fall short.
My story began with Brett 26 ½ years ago - I was born into this world with an older brother, who took the responsibility of making me laugh, making me cry, tantalizing me…as brothers do, gratifying me, protecting and guiding me.
He gave me strength when I thought I had none - He is doing that now.
Brett was first born therefore he experienced life's pleasures first…I learned from him…I learned a great deal.
Brett and I have experienced moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity. He lived every day to its complete fullest. Brett was a Man who Lived! He was loyal to life.
I am forever blessed to have shared my 26 years with such a being…I thank you, I miss you, I love you deeply and I look forward to seeing you again. Until then, I will remember you and smile.
Kevin Bailey's eulogy
What I'm about to say to you today, in an attempt to convey the essence of the spirit, that was the life of Brett Bailey will be woefully insufficient. Nevertheless, I am both obligated and highly honored to try.
28 ½ years ago, on Feb 6, 1973, on Cape Cod our first-born was gifted to Judy and I and our Family began. A number of people here today probably don't know this but for the first 14 years of Brett's life he was known as Yuri. This was the name his Mom and I chose because we first of all liked the name but also we knew no one with it. And we believed that if we gave our child a special name, one that required for distinction no last name. It would help set the foundation upon which a special person could be built. As a matter of fact we never stopped believing that and that's to a large extent why Yuri's sister is named Yarah and his brother Yuriah. To this day I've never met anyone known by these gorgeous names.
From the very first Yuri rushed to anything athletic. Initially because play was just fun but over time as he grew and his world expanded. He developed from a Christian cornerstone, a genuine affection for the application of principals he had learned in organized sports as a child, at Seton Hall Prep as a youth and from an exceptional, high quality network of friends and professional colleagues in his adult life. Principals like the desire to win, the value of individual effort, loyalty, friendship and brotherhood. And I can not overlook one of his favorites: the tweaking of your opponents psyche til he falls to his knees in tears [otherwise known as ball breaking], a good celebration win or lose, a playful sense of humor and the unwavering belief that he could do all things through Christ who strengthened him.
I recall when Yuri was seven years old I asked him what it was that he wanted most in life. And I thought I'd get a response like, I want to play baseball for the Yankees or Hockey for the Rangers. But what Yuri said was " I'd like God to talk to me." And I said, you mean in your head or your heart?" And he said "No, I mean out loud. I'd like God to talk to me out loud." And I thought to myself, most fully-grown men would collapse of a coronary if God Almighty ever addressed them audibly. Yet here was this young boy wanting above all else for God to be personal with him beyond what God promises.
This was the foundation Yuri set and gifted to Brett to build upon.
What was it about Brett that made him one of a kind?
That made him special? That made him as individual as his signature? Like a masterfully cut gem, Brett had numerous radiant points. That open-faced glowing Irish smile, the roll in his laughter and that, "I'm ready, are you?" twinkle that rarely left his eye.
But for me the one sparkling facet that shone the brightest was the sincere and seamless way Brett transformed a stranger into a friend, in an instant. An ability that came from his Mom but one that he refined I believe because of having lived in Massachusetts, New York, Maine and New Jersey all before the age of 14.
Brett was as interested in and as respectful of the New England Fisherman as he was the Wall Street Trader.
In Brett's mind it wasn't what you did for a living as much as how you did, what you did, while living, that mattered.
We were playing golf together one recent Saturday as we most oftentimes did this summer and Brett asked me "Hey Dad, have you ever seen the NYC Fire Dept in action?"
I said I had seen them riding around the streets of NY on the back of their trucks. But if you mean have I ever seen them in an actual firefight - no.
He then proceeds to tell me how a few weeks back there was some smoke coming out of the vents around the floor at Euro Brokers, where he worked, and the fire department was called. So, 4 or 5 firefighters walk onto the floor in full regalia; oxygen tanks on their backs, those great helmets on their heads and big shiny axes thrown over their shoulders.
As they move through the area one fireman says "Don't worry everything is fine. No reason to be alarmed."
He said they removed some grates and crawled into vents. Only to reappear a little later, faces blackened in soot, teeth smiling. Saying "Everything is okay". And as they were leaving one fellow slaps me on the shoulder, looked me in the eye and tells me to have a great day.
"I love fireman" he says, "they don't make a lot of money but they sure make a lot of people a whole lot safer. And that must be so rewarding."
He just said this to me 6 weeks ago.
I have never felt more comfortable or more at ease, anywhere in my life; then when I was with Brett. He had an easy way about him that pretty much felt to me like Christmas morning. A feeling born out of his love of family, from an insatiable appetite to pursue happiness and a tireless wanting for you to share in it. Along with a willingness to shoulder more than his share of the load knowing that in giving there is great receiving. It was these treasures alive in Brett that made friends of creatures great and small.
Ten years ago Brett and I went together to get an estimate, for a paint job, on a car we owned. And adjacent to the Macco Dealership was a parts/junk yard separated by an eight-foot chain link fence. Behind the fence was a snaring Doberman, tethered, weathered and quite mean. I really wasn't paying much attention to Brett until the barking stopped and the sudden silence shot my attention in the direction of the dog. What I saw froze me.
Brett had leaped the fence and was down on his knees, crawling, arm extended hand outstretched, telling this dog he was a good boy and that everything was okay. He moved in close enough to pet the dog and once he did the dog's entire outlook on life changed. This snarling beast was now an adorning pup.
Afterwards I asked him [and not so calmly I might add] why he put himself in danger like that?
And he said very calmly "He just wanted to be patted."
Our lives have been diminished beyond measure. What's been lost is not replaceable. And the pain of loss associated with this love is unbearable.
That Brett and Dina will never consummate their love in marriage. That the world will never come to know the product of that love and that no child will ever call Brett Dad.
Is a tragedy that defies contemplation.
That Brett's life is irreplaceable is a good thing. It's a measure of its worth.
What we do have, each one of us, are memories. And these memories over time, as we individually recall the frames of our lives with Brett, will build a glorious personal monument. Which we can carry always and whose beauty increases with time.
Together we will overcome this horror. Alone we would surely melt.
What I would like everyone to do is to stay seated but take a second or two and look around at the people behind you and in front of you and those to your right and those on your left. And take a mental picture of the people you see because who you are looking at are among the finest people in America. And if who you see, you are not friends with yet. I highly recommend you become so.
For me to attempt to thank everyone. Who has so tirelessly and lovingly come to the aid of our family, over this past month. Would be unfair because I would undoubtedly overlook some that I should not and the list would run long. But let me assure you that your lives are awesome to behold and without them we would not be able to stand here today.
In closing I'd like to leave you with a story and a belief that I hope brings you some comfort.
On Sept 11th I became aware during our regularly scheduled Tuesday morning meeting that the first plane had hit the south tower while it was happening. The meeting quickly adjourned and I called Euro Brokers immediately attempting to contact Brett. The phones went unanswered, as the initial evacuation of Tower Two had begun.
I called Brett's cell phone and Brett with an elevated voice, clearly under duress answered " Hello".
I asked, "Brett are you okay".
He responded without recognition "who is this?"
I believe that the last words Brett heard from outside that tower were, "This is your father" because right after I said them the phone went dead. I believe the next words that Yuri heard from outside that tower were spoken to him out loud and they said,
"Welcome Brett, I love you, I am your Heavenly Father."
Kevin Hyland's eulogy & poem
It's amazing to me how during this hard time when Dina's family and the Baileys should look to friends and family for strength and support all I have to do is look at them and get the strength I need to move foward.
I'm wearing green socks!!! a blue tie and blue blazer... Brett would be so pissed at me. Yet he can were these pants to my wedding????? and look good!
I'm honord Brett choose me to be one of his friends. Friday after this happend i locked myself in my office and put some words on paper and I'd like to share them with you.
Friday September 14 (It's been 4 days)
I'f your alive I will give you this poem
i want you to know how you changed my life
your just a beach boy with city style
a style like no other
a style so strong and so good
a style with class a unique style
a style i will teach my own children
a style to be proud of
a style so hard to find
a style so generous so kind
a style that made me laugh and enjoy life
a style that we loved
a style i tried to follow but could never match
a style that made me feel good
a style comfortable to be around
a style that can never be forgotten
a style
your style
Brett Bailey style
your just a beach boy with city style
your just a beach boy with city style
I'll always try to do it "Brett Bailey Style"
Mike Condon's eulogy
For those of you who don’t know me my name is Michael Condon. I have had the honor of knowing Brett and his family since they moved to New Jersey from Long Island about 15 years ago. Brett and I went to middle school together than later to Seton Hall Prep, we were even roommates in college at West Virginia University. When I was asked to speak about Brett I was flooded with tons of different memories I have of Brett, when I think of all the good times in my life, Brett was usually a part of them.
The first time I met Brett was when we were at a tryout for a local basketball team in our town, I think we were about 13 or 14 years old. After the tryout was over I walked out to the parking lot to wait for my ride, since we were to young to driver but that was all about to change as you’ll see. While in the parking lot I saw Brett, who at that time was known as the "New Kid". Brett was standing all alone, in the lot so I asked him if he needed a ride. He replied "Ok, I was going to walk but I’ll take a ride." I can honestly say that, that was the first and last time I ever saw Brett stand alone. From that point on in his life Brett was always surrounded by a group of friends and loved ones. People tended to gravitate towards Brett.
Shortly after meeting Brett we began taking “Private driving lessons” these lessons were so private that our parents didn’t even know about them. We taught each other how to drive, which is very scary since neither of us knew what the hell we were doing. As soon as Mr. and Mrs. Bailey left the house our lessons began. We would take what ever car they left behind and drive all around the Llewellyn Park, when we finished our lesson we would park the car back in the garage and literally wipe down every inch of the car with towels and made sure nothing was disturbed. About 3 years later, after our on-going lessons we were both 17 years old. And as you can guess, had no problems obtaining our drivers licenses. Practice makes perfect.
While in High School Brett and I used to caddy at Essex County Country Club, where several of the members and staff referred to us as Mutt and Jeff. I’m still not sure who was who. Brett and I ended up developing some non-verbal cues with each other that we used when the members were on the putting green. Brett would either nod his head as if to say this guys going to sink this putt, if I made the motion of no way is he going to make the putt. Brett simply held up a number of fingers and the bet was made for that amount. We would bet on the members for the course of the round. I t got to the point where members were asking us if they needed to finish up their putts depending on the match that Brett and I were holding completely separate from their own match. That’s probably the only time that Brett actually won money on a golf course.
As we got older and we’re out in the real world Brett met Dina, who captured this boys heart. Brett was thrilled with Dina, always talking about her. Brett truly loved Dina. If anyone here ever went out to eat with Brett and Dina you’ll know about credit card roulette. This a game where one person holds a credit card from each person under the table when the bill comes. Someone then picks a card with out looking whatever card is picked pays the bill. Well, I always lost, and it wasn’t for lack of trying I played every time and lost every time.
Brett had a unique way about him, he would brighten up a room when he entered it, even if he was usually 15 or 20 minutes late. Kevin, Judy, Yariah, Yuria, and Dina you can be proud of Brett and the way he lived his life, he had no regrets and tried it all. Heaven has never been a better place now that Brett is there. I‘m actually jealous because you know he’s got something planned or going on like a cups tournament or a game of three’s.
Brett exemplified the meaning of a true friend. He was always there when needed and always ready to lend a hand. Brett looked at the bright side of every situation; he was a tough kid yet showed compassion when necessary.
I know that I will never be alone again because my friend who stood alone in the parking lot the first time I met him will always be there looking out for me over my shoulder.
Brett, Buddy as the Irish Blessing goes, “Until we met again, may God hold you in the Palm of his hand.” God Bless you. I Love You, Buddy.
(I can't tell you how much messages like this mean to me. Please keep them coming!)
-----Original Message-----
From: Brooke@MidrangeSupport.com [mailto:Brooke@MidrangeSupport.com]
Sent: Wednesday, October 24, 2001 4:02 PM
To: bdavis@screamingmedia.com
Subject: Brett Bailey
Thank you so much for putting this site together. My family (the O'Gradys) have been long time friends of the Baileys and it broke my heart when I heard about Brett. My thoughts and prayers go to Kevin and Judy, as well as Yarah, Yuriah, and Dina. I wished that I could be there for them. To put my arms around them. To tell them how truly blessed they were to have had Brett as a son. How blessed Brett was to have them as parents. The program from the service, that was sent to me by my parents, brought both a smile to my face and tears to my eyes. I feel horrible that I could not be there in person but your site makes me feel like I was. I could almost hear Kevin's voice as I read his eulogy. Why this had to happen to Brett, to take away such a bright light in a time of such darkness, I will never know. I just know that I will always have the memories of a boy who loved life as much as he loved his family. For this I am grateful. Thank you for helping to spread Brett's message.... Make every day count and LIVE!
Brooke Liccardi
Although Yuriah and I both went to URI, I didn't actually meet him until he stared at Fidelity more than 3 years ago. We've been great friends ever since. The one common theme that always came to the forefront of our friendship was his brother Brett. Yuriah spoke of Brett often and his comments always reflected the reverence that only a younger brother can express.
"I can't wait to go snowboarding this weekend."
"Are you getting better?"
"Yeah, but not as good as Brett."
"Are you thinking about ever heading back down to work in NYC?"
"Yeah I'm thinking pretty soon. Brett has an awesome job down there."
The references were frequent and as Yuriah and I grew as friends, so did my interest in meeting this older brother of his. Finally one weekend this past summer, Yuriah and I car-pooled to the Jersey shore and, although we going down to do our own things, I was instructed to attend an event called "Artie-gras." An event where I would finally meet Brett. Upon arrival I found Yuriah - "Ok, where is he?" Yuriah pointed to this guy wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt who was entertaining about 4 people with a joke or story, either way, he had their complete attention. I said "Yuriah-- you look absolutely nothing like that dude."
Suddenly though, the entire group was brought to laughter and when Brett cracked his broad smile the resemblance became overwhelmingly clear. "Oh yeah, that's him." I made my way over to shake his hand and although I had only caught this guy's act for 5 minutes, his impact on the party and blatant confidence were strikingly apparent.
What a great summer night that was. Overlooking the bay's sunset from the back deck of this house, music cranked, a grill churned out burgers, an open bar supplied drinks ...I think there was even a dunk tank there somehow (for the record, the dunk tank was Brett's idea and, naturally, he followed it through)....but gradually everyone's mood intensified and their attention shifted to the front of the house where an ongoing round-robin "cups" tournament was nearing its completion. I knew this because I lost in the semi-finals to Brett's team. I couldn't possibly make something like this up. There we were. The entire party. About 50 strong blocking this side street on the Jersey shore's bayside as Yuriah's team was about face Brett's in the final. The crowd swelled with excitement as the two team's leaders, the two brothers, squared off on opposite sides of the table.
One excited girl in front of me couldn't take it. YURIAH vs BRETT!! YURIAH vs BRETT she yelled. The first 6 games in this best of 7 series were marked by in-your-face competitiveness as each team took 3 victories. Then came the defining moment of the the party. The defining moment in which, for me, a memory of Brett is perfectly preserved. The entire mob surrounding the cups table stopped what they were doing and, lead by Brett, broke out into a drunken rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. Obnoxiously loud. Completely hilarious. Retrospectively spine chilling. Eventually play resumed - low and behold Brett's team took the title. Once again the reverence of a younger brother made itself apparent.
"He kicked your ass huh Yuriah?"
"Yeah, my brother's really good at cups"
.........
Although I only met Brett once, the impression was unique, profound and lasting. My most sincere condolences go out to the Bailey family and those that knew Brett best. I wish I had known him better.
John Conover
(Yuriah's Eulogy) Brothers in Arms
I have been doing a ton of thinking in the last month as to what I could say about Brett that would truly grasp the essence of his character while describing what he meant to me, along with everyone he came in contact with. The words that kept replaying in my mind where pure admiration.
Brett honored me with the title of best man. Never was I so blessed to be labeled as such to the person that I looked up to my whole life. Brett taught me so many lessons, half the time I don’t believe he even realized. He taught me how to live my life to its absolute fullest, to love my family unconditionally, to surround myself with solid friends, and most importantly be an individual with enduring confidence. He was so effective in his teachings because he not only preached it; he lived it.
He was the strongest individual I know. He sometimes chose the road less traveled but he always ended up ahead of the rest with a big smile on his face and a lot of great stories. He never lived life the conventional way; he lived it his way. He also always made sure his loved ones would reap the benefits from his life, because he loved to see others sharing in his glory.
Now, don’t get me wrong Brett was also a big brother at times. I use to joke around with him and call him Wayne the older brother from the Wonder Years, when he taught me the “physical” lessons of life. He did it to make me a stronger person and in retrospect it absolutely did.
I had the privilege of calling Brett my brother for 25 years but I believe he treated everyone like a brother. Watching the way he interacted with others he showed the same love and compassion to them as he did towards me. That is why he is such a unique individual. If you were in his circle of friends, you were a part of his family.
Brett means so many things too so many people. Take a look around, he effected all of our lives in a positive way or we all wouldn’t be here to cherish the memory of a phenomenal individual. Don’t ever forget what he stood for and don’t ever let his memory fade. He will never be gone unless you let him. He will continue to watch over all of our lives as long as we allow him too, because that is what he loved to do. There is a reason for everything in life, allow Brett to show why he chose you as his friend or loved one. You may ask yourself, how do I remember Brett? Just as Cal Ripken so eloquently stated in his goodbye speech, to remember at all is pretty special.
Brett I will continue to live my life in honor of you. I will always remember you and what you taught me and also allow you to guide my life in the right direction. I love you Brett and I will always picture you as my brother in arms.
MORE TO COME...
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